I've been trying to hold this post off until the date of my actual 17th Anniversary I was officially diagnosed, but I honestly don't remember the actual date. I only remember June 1998. So, I decided that today would be a perfect time to reflect back on a lot of things that happened over the past 17 years. I'm going to reflect on the memories of that hot, June day I was diagnosed, the things I've accomplished, the things I still have yet to accomplish, and where I'm going from here.
But first, let me give you a little background story that started ten months before the diagnosis.
The incident happened at my second birthday party in August 1997. You'd think that a regular two year old would be more than overjoyed about everyone singing to him/her and them making that all-important birthday wish. I wasn't. When the cake was brought out to me, I was so scared. I still have the horrific image of those two flames so close to me in my head. I crawled away as fast as I could. So, mom came in and offered me a present. In my mind, I automatically jumped to the accurate conclusion that if there were presents, there was cake, and if there was cake, there was fire. So, I threw the present away from me and that gift hit the wall. That must've been a point where my mom began to worry if something was wrong.
Here's where all the reflecting begins.
After that incident came many more. I would throw tantrums at the grocery store and my mom didn't know why. So, after ten months since that first sign, mom made the appointment for us to see a doctor to figure out what was going on. In June 1998, I still wasn't talking. I still wasn't walking. I still wasn't potty-trained. I had to be carried everywhere. We went into the office. I don't remember all the questions asked and the answers my mother gave. He told her that I had Autism. She must've been so confused and worried for my well-being and development. He explained to her that it's a developmental disability located in my brain. He went on to tell her that I would never walk and that I could never talk. She was told I would remain in diapers. He suggested that an institution (nursing home) was the best possible option for me. This is the part where I remember the most from that day. My mom stood up, looked that man straight in the eye and said this: "I don't care. She's my daughter, and I'm keeping her. I'm going to raise her and teach her. I'm keeping her and I'll do anything to help her." That was the first time out of many, many times my mother stood up for me. The doctor who helped my mom a lot said to lock me in my bedroom, and she moved to Columbus.
The key thing my family did to help me was praying. We are a family of faith and we are a Christian family, so they just prayed for me that I would get better. My mom and dad prayed for me every single night. At age three, I began to walk. In December 1999, I spoke my first words: "I love you, mommy." Around that same time, I was potty trained.
I went to normal schools, I started making friends (which ended up taking a while as I explained in my post "When I Was In School..."), I was doing average in school. It wasn't until I was in high school when I began asking questions to my mom. I felt so different and alone, that in November 2011, I developed a brief depression. Having depression was not fun, and I knew God would not wanted me living that way after all He has done for me and all He has blessed me with. After three or four months, my depression went away.
That was a time I realized that I need to set my focus more on my goals. In May 2012, I went from an IEP to Section 504, graduated high school, got accepted into college, I'm getting good grades in college (only one C of all the grades I'v gotten), and I've made The Honors List Twice, The Dean's List once, and The President's List twice.
It wasn't until January 2015 in my Child Psychology class where I was assigned to do a presentation and paper about Autism where I realized that this could be my chance to show my true colors. By the end of winter quarter, I now understood and realized why God gave me my Autism. To educate people about it and help parents by providing an insight so valuable. I decided that my second job next to Graphic Designer is Autism Advocate. I made a public Instagram profile, Twitter page, and Facebook page to connect with people. From this, I've made a friend who also has Autism and has almost the same interest as I do, as well as help provide insight to a mother for her daughter. I spoke publicly about my story and my faith for the first time on April 19, 2015. I was told throughout my life that I should write books about Autism for parents, teens, and children alike. So, I started right around February 2015, and I was completely finished in April 2015. It's called Meet My Autism. It's written by me, someone with Autism, who has used NO medical research or medical professionals at all. All information is all from my experiences and observations, and how I act. I figured that a book with only the view of someone with Autism would be so valuable. I'm still trying to find a publisher for the children's book, but I may begin writing another one over my summer break.
I've accomplished so much over the past seventeen years, but I still have plenty more left to accomplish. I'm still paranoid of bees and wasps. I still don't do the birthday cake at my birthday parties, and I go in another room if I'm at a birthday party when it's time for cake. I still get over whelmed by big crowds, loud noises, flashing lights, and I still cant fully handle a trip to the grocery store. I still have my moments where I laugh at things that aren't supposed to be funny, I have a weird sense of humor, and I have mental overloads frequently, as well as a normal meltdown sometimes. I still have a long way to go. There still so much work to do. But I'm going to spend my life with Autism trying to help people and provide a voice and advice that only an Autistic person can give. My only hope is that YOU guys can join me on this incredible journey.
Happy 17th Anniversary, Autism. Thank you for giving me the voice, creativity, and the personality that has shaped who I am. Here's to eighteen more years.
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