Hey guys. Since schools have officially started, I wanted to talk about bullying. I'm sorry that this is a more serious blog, but I feel that this has to be addressed, and this can't wait until October. I'm not sugar coating this either, I'm going to be as realistic and honest as possible.
OK, here's the reality: bullying happens. Autistic kids and teens do have a 50/50 chance of being bullied, even though most likely, they will. I'm not trying to be discouraging or mean, I'm telling you this because I was bullied from preschool all the way up until my last semester of senior year. I know how it feels and what it is, and that's why I'm being honest and I'm going to give some insight and advice.
The reason why bullying happens to EVERYONE, not just Autistic people like me is because sadly, there are mean and cruel people in this world. Some people want to feel more proud of themselves, and they go so far as to picking on people to feel that way. Why bullying happens to Autistic kids, teens, and young adults, I have no idea. All I know is that it's not only mean, it's sickening in my opinion.
Kids have called me "stupid", "dumb", "weirdo", "cry baby", "sensitive", and the r-word that I still cringe at to this day: "retard". Just repeating the hurtful words they've called me still hurts. I was also poked at, laughed at, picked on, and I was even shoved and pushed. It brings back bitter memories I long to have erased from my mind. I still remember the taunts, and the whispers from actual grown-ups, and the jokes. I don't understand WHY it happens, all I do know is that it does. People don't understand how much we hurt because we are extra sensitive. People don't know what we go through every day, living the life we live with the Autism we didn't choose to have. Again, we need more knowledge, more acceptance. I think if people can see how we function and how extraordinary we are, they would be more understanding, and more accepting, and less mean.
So, I'm going to leave you with some advice today:
To the bullies: Why? Why choose those who are obviously weaker than you? It's not right, it's rude. It's cruel. Bullying someone doesn't make you any more of a bigger person, it makes you less of a person because instead of being a buddy, you chose to be a bully, and that's just mean. My advice to you, specifically is to educate yourself on Autism. Ask grown-ups about it, read books, watch documentaries and movies, whatever you need to do to learn more about Autism and what we go through, do it. We don't want your cruel and mean bullying anymore, and we will not have it. I'll be praying for you.
To the parents of the Autistic kids and teens getting bullied: Keep doing what you're doing. Keep talking to them. Keep loving on them. Keep making them feel better. Your love and support is all they need to feel better and feel okay. I'm no parent expert or a Ph.D or something like that, but ensure your child that even though it's said doesn't make it true. Remind them that bullies are just mean, and to not mind what they say, even though it can be tough to do.
And lastly...
To the Autistic kids and teens, and every child and teen for that matter, who are bullied: Don't give up. Don't pay them any attention. That's what bullies want. You may not know it, but you are such strong people and you can do anything you set your mind to. Write in a journal, or the #1 best thing you can do is talking to someone about it. Whether it be your parents, friends, or a grown-up, I found that doing that has helped me cope the best. Another thing that has helped me is praying. I encourage you to pray, even if you aren't religious. Just know that even though they say mean things about you doesn't make it true. They just don't know anything about you. Also, be kind to them, that's what's going to make them stop. And remember, stay strong and never give up.
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Monday, August 24, 2015
Life, Love, and Autism...
SO, I've been on a blogger's block for a while, but I'll have a few posts for you this week, since today is my first day of a la escuela. So, I'll be on my computer a while.
I've posted on Instagram about what YOU want me to talk about, and a mom came forward and asked that I write about how I feel about love and life. So, I'm here to deliver.
So, I have been in a relationship when I was 13, and that only lasted for two months. Since 2009, I've been single. Yep, I'm still single. I think boys just don't want to date me, which I cannot understand. As someone with Autism, I am a VERY picky and needy person, I always go into my own world at some point every day, I have meltdowns from time to time, and I can't stay out in public for a long time because of the many noises and sights that would shut me down. Yes, that's true. But, I'm also a funny, sweet, caring, and enjoyable girl, and all they see is my Autism. They push themselves away before getting to actually know me, which hurts more than not having a boyfriend. I am also a God seeking and God fearing girl as well. I've learned to trust in his timing and He'll send the one He picked for me when the time comes. That being said, I do see myself getting married to Mr. Right one day, and ADOPTING my children. I'm all about adoption because #1, I have a very high pain tolerance, and childbirth looks very painful. And #2, there are children who want a good home with parents who'll love and care for them, and I'm more than willing to do that for a few of them. Who knows? I'm leaving it up to God and His timing. So, that's my stance of love and romance.
Now, onto life. I'm now 20, which is the age that young adults are living in dorms, and drive, and have jobs, and live on their own. But I'm also Autistic. I don't drive, I don't live in dorms, I don't have a job (well, with my book and all this advocacy, I guess that classifies as a job), and I'm not living on my own. But I can vote (PLEASE VOTE IN THE 2016 ELECION, YOUR VOICE MATTERS)! Other than that, I have to rely very highly on my parents. I rely on them for food, clothes, transportation, money, and a roof over my head. Some Autistic people are on their own, which I've always dreamed about. I just don't feel I'm ready to venture out into the world on my own just yet, and my parents feel the same. Because the discrimination of people with Autism, Asbergers, Down Syndrome, and other learning, cognitive disorders is brutal. We might get a job, since the National Americans With Disabilities Act passed in 1990, but people give us looks, and whispers, and judge how we do things, which makes it so hard. Plus, if we get too overwhelmed, we get tense and don't do anything, which causes more people to judge, which makes it worse.
I say this a lot, but with Autism, everything comes down to ACCEPTANCE. I cannot stress this word enough. Acceptance is the KEY word when it comes to Autism. Accepting us with Autism for who we are is something we all need to do. If I can do it and YOU can do it, so can everyone else. So, accept others for who they are on the inside and not on the outside is the main message here.
I've posted on Instagram about what YOU want me to talk about, and a mom came forward and asked that I write about how I feel about love and life. So, I'm here to deliver.
So, I have been in a relationship when I was 13, and that only lasted for two months. Since 2009, I've been single. Yep, I'm still single. I think boys just don't want to date me, which I cannot understand. As someone with Autism, I am a VERY picky and needy person, I always go into my own world at some point every day, I have meltdowns from time to time, and I can't stay out in public for a long time because of the many noises and sights that would shut me down. Yes, that's true. But, I'm also a funny, sweet, caring, and enjoyable girl, and all they see is my Autism. They push themselves away before getting to actually know me, which hurts more than not having a boyfriend. I am also a God seeking and God fearing girl as well. I've learned to trust in his timing and He'll send the one He picked for me when the time comes. That being said, I do see myself getting married to Mr. Right one day, and ADOPTING my children. I'm all about adoption because #1, I have a very high pain tolerance, and childbirth looks very painful. And #2, there are children who want a good home with parents who'll love and care for them, and I'm more than willing to do that for a few of them. Who knows? I'm leaving it up to God and His timing. So, that's my stance of love and romance.
Now, onto life. I'm now 20, which is the age that young adults are living in dorms, and drive, and have jobs, and live on their own. But I'm also Autistic. I don't drive, I don't live in dorms, I don't have a job (well, with my book and all this advocacy, I guess that classifies as a job), and I'm not living on my own. But I can vote (PLEASE VOTE IN THE 2016 ELECION, YOUR VOICE MATTERS)! Other than that, I have to rely very highly on my parents. I rely on them for food, clothes, transportation, money, and a roof over my head. Some Autistic people are on their own, which I've always dreamed about. I just don't feel I'm ready to venture out into the world on my own just yet, and my parents feel the same. Because the discrimination of people with Autism, Asbergers, Down Syndrome, and other learning, cognitive disorders is brutal. We might get a job, since the National Americans With Disabilities Act passed in 1990, but people give us looks, and whispers, and judge how we do things, which makes it so hard. Plus, if we get too overwhelmed, we get tense and don't do anything, which causes more people to judge, which makes it worse.
I say this a lot, but with Autism, everything comes down to ACCEPTANCE. I cannot stress this word enough. Acceptance is the KEY word when it comes to Autism. Accepting us with Autism for who we are is something we all need to do. If I can do it and YOU can do it, so can everyone else. So, accept others for who they are on the inside and not on the outside is the main message here.
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Tips for Traveling...Away From Home
Hey, it's me. I'm BAAACK!!! I really wanted to do this topic in May, but I wanted to wait to see when the timing was convenient. And, since I'll be doing this sometime this week, I figured now was the time to discuss it, even though it's back-to-school season. Today, I wanted to talk about Autism and traveling, and how I cope with the stress, the changes that really only last a few days, and homesickness.
OK. So, my grandparents invited me to stay with them for a few days this week to celebrate my birthday, which is the 10th of this month. This has been a tradition for me since I can remember. They also live out of town, which is forty five to about fifty five minutes tops away from me, so they don't see me often (well, in the summer they do because of my dad's racing photography every Saturday). So, every year, either on the weekend of my birthday, or the week before, they invite me over for a few days so I can celebrate my special day with them.
Like I said, they live a bit far from me and my house. Before I leave and before I begin picking out clothes and things to bring with me, I wanted to share with you Autism moms and dads out there what I do to help with packing and coping. This particular topic is another reason why reading an Autistic girl's blog comes in very handy. I'm just going to say it: packing is super stressful for me, even for the few day trip to the grandparents' house, because I'm the type of person who doesn't know what they want to bring or what they don't want to bring. Fortunately, I found a great way to help me handle that, since I'm the type of Autistic person who does not handle stress too well. One word: organization. Yes, you heard me right. Organization is not one of my excellent qualities, but being organized and planning a few days ahead helps me best. I would start packing the things I REALLY need to bring, like clothes, toothbrush and toothpaste, etc. two days before, or the night before. Then, a few hours before I leave, I pack the movies and DVDs I want to take with me, some things to do, and a stuffed animal, or in my case, three. So, pack a few days ahead, and you'll be sure you have all the things you need to bring, and the things you want to bring.
Being in a different setting for a few days can be a small adjustment to scheduling and routine, but it can also cause homesickness. I'm the type of person who gets homesick, VERY easily. So, if your Autistic child tends to get homesick easily like myself, here's what I do. First, I take a few stuffed animals from home, three being the maximum, so that I can have a piece of home from me when I go to bed. Next, during the day, I do something that I like to do to help make the time go by faster, like working on my Rainbow Loom while watching my wrestling DVDs. You might like to do something else, like go to the park, or go run errands, go to the museum, go see a movie or two, watching the same show or DVD over and over again, playing a game, something like that to keep the child occupied so the time goes by quicker. Also, communicate with your child. I use messaging with my mom with my iPod since I can't text out where my grandparents live. I always try to keep some things until I am reunited with my parents to tell all to them, but there are also times where I don't tell them everything. This is because sometimes, what happens at Grammie's stays at Grammie's. Communication also keep up with my family. I tell you, what wondrous things social networking and modern day technology are.
So, those are my tips to deal with the travel shebang! I'll talk to you guys later.
OK. So, my grandparents invited me to stay with them for a few days this week to celebrate my birthday, which is the 10th of this month. This has been a tradition for me since I can remember. They also live out of town, which is forty five to about fifty five minutes tops away from me, so they don't see me often (well, in the summer they do because of my dad's racing photography every Saturday). So, every year, either on the weekend of my birthday, or the week before, they invite me over for a few days so I can celebrate my special day with them.
Like I said, they live a bit far from me and my house. Before I leave and before I begin picking out clothes and things to bring with me, I wanted to share with you Autism moms and dads out there what I do to help with packing and coping. This particular topic is another reason why reading an Autistic girl's blog comes in very handy. I'm just going to say it: packing is super stressful for me, even for the few day trip to the grandparents' house, because I'm the type of person who doesn't know what they want to bring or what they don't want to bring. Fortunately, I found a great way to help me handle that, since I'm the type of Autistic person who does not handle stress too well. One word: organization. Yes, you heard me right. Organization is not one of my excellent qualities, but being organized and planning a few days ahead helps me best. I would start packing the things I REALLY need to bring, like clothes, toothbrush and toothpaste, etc. two days before, or the night before. Then, a few hours before I leave, I pack the movies and DVDs I want to take with me, some things to do, and a stuffed animal, or in my case, three. So, pack a few days ahead, and you'll be sure you have all the things you need to bring, and the things you want to bring.
Being in a different setting for a few days can be a small adjustment to scheduling and routine, but it can also cause homesickness. I'm the type of person who gets homesick, VERY easily. So, if your Autistic child tends to get homesick easily like myself, here's what I do. First, I take a few stuffed animals from home, three being the maximum, so that I can have a piece of home from me when I go to bed. Next, during the day, I do something that I like to do to help make the time go by faster, like working on my Rainbow Loom while watching my wrestling DVDs. You might like to do something else, like go to the park, or go run errands, go to the museum, go see a movie or two, watching the same show or DVD over and over again, playing a game, something like that to keep the child occupied so the time goes by quicker. Also, communicate with your child. I use messaging with my mom with my iPod since I can't text out where my grandparents live. I always try to keep some things until I am reunited with my parents to tell all to them, but there are also times where I don't tell them everything. This is because sometimes, what happens at Grammie's stays at Grammie's. Communication also keep up with my family. I tell you, what wondrous things social networking and modern day technology are.
So, those are my tips to deal with the travel shebang! I'll talk to you guys later.
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